who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
