I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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