I heard we made out
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
