I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
