with your own penis?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
