Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
