where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
