You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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