I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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