First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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