What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
