ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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