I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
