His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
