why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
