i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
my liver is dry heaving
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I want a musical about memes.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
