do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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