After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
