Betty ford says i'm here all night
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
