She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
