You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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