ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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