Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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