Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
