sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
