i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
