I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize