Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
