What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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