Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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