I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
