Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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