I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
