So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
