I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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