she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
this just has baby written all over it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
