I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize