i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
