why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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