i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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