yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
