So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
