So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
