he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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