opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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