The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I want her autograph on my taint
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
