im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
