Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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