it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
