Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
