i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
