You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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