Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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