No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize