He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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