Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
