Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
