reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
