Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
