a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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