So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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