a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
