I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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