We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
